I am so thankful

I’m going to take a little break from my “blog catch up game”. This week has been pretty difficult. Actually, the last few weeks have been full of heartache and devastation. In a few short days it seemed like there were more wrecks in Central Arkansas than I could count. My heart goes out to all of those families involved. I have been in constant prayer for all of them. Many of these accidents involved people that I knew personally. One in particular struck really close to home. Jake and Nikki Pruett were in a terrible motorcycle accident. They had only been married a couple of months. I didn’t know Jake as well as Nikki, but that didn’t keep my heart from breaking for them. After fighting for close to three weeks Jake lost his life to his injuries. It’s so hard to understand sometimes why such tragic things happen. However, I have no doubt that God has an unbelievable plan for all of this.

I can not imagine losing my husband. Eric and I have only been married 7 months- we have so much more to experience! Our lives have felt like a roller coaster for the last year, and it just seems to get faster and faster. Yes, we have our fights and arguments, but most of the time it’s over silly little stuff. Thinking about Nikki and all she has had to deal with over the last month, I can’t even imagine being in her shoes. I NEVER want to take anything for granted. Unfortunately, here lately, I feel like I have been. My family means so much to me. I can’t imagine going on with day to day life without one of them. I don’t tell them enough how much they mean to me. So- I am making a promise to myself. I need them to know how much they mean to me, how much I depend on them, how much I look up to them, how much I learn from them, and above everything else how thankful I am that God has placed them in my life.

Starting with my husband…

Eric, I love you so much. You mean more to me than I have words to express. I am so thankful that God gave you to me. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to raise our son together. You are going to be an amazing father. You model your life after our Heavenly Father, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I can not wait to share many more life experiences with you. Nothing makes me happier to walk into the bedroom and see you watching our wedding video. I depend on you so much for more than you probably know. You are so strong. Thank you for always making me laugh in your silly ways.







To my Daddy…

You are such a Godly man. I cherish all the memories I have from my childhood. When praying for my future husband, I prayed for a man that would treat me the way you treated momma. Thank you for setting that standard without even knowing it. There have been so many times in my life that I have leaned on you for guidance and support. Those times I wouldn’t trade for anything. Thank you for being my rock. I love being a “daddy’s girl”- you make that pretty easy. I look forward to learning more and more from you. I am so thankful for you. I love you so very much!

To my mom…

You are a perfect example of a Godly woman. You have taught me so much. I don’t know where I would be without you. I am so thankful for you, and your ability to listen. Many nights I have cried on your shoulder while you cried along with me. I love you. You have supported me in everything. Thank you for being a mom who sat at the kitchen table with your child and helped her with homework. Thank you for insisting that we ate dinner at the kitchen table as a family growing up, and not in front of the T.V. You are such a role model for me, I hope I am half of the mom you are. I love you so much!

To my sister…

You are my best friend. I am so thankful for you. I love our lunch dates. I love being around you. I love our funny inside jokes, our twin moments, and most of all that you are my sister. I am thankful that we have the relationship that we do. You are so sweet, and so kind, and a

WONDERFUL mother. You are strong, and have overcome so much. I thank God you are the person you are today. I love you!! Speaking of you being a wonderful mother, that brings me to my next person…

To my niece …

Kyndall Grace, you are the light of my life. You are almost two years old, and I can’t believe it. You are growing up so fast. Too fast for my liking actually! I love you more and more every day. I am so thankful for you. Nothing makes me happier than when you say “my Be Be” I love that! I depend on you for that little burst of energy you give me. When I am having a bad day, I know I can count on you to change that for me. I am so thankful God placed you in our family. You really are a remarkable little girl. I love you!

**There are so many other people in my life that mean so much to me. I could never write out individually how much each one means. I am going to do better. I am going to appreciate the small things in life. I really am so lucky. God has given me more than I could ever imagine.

Father God, thank you so much for everything you have blessed me with. I ask that you always remind me of these things when I am ungrateful. Thank you for providing safety to the people I love and care about. I am so thankful to call you Father. I am so thankful for the relationship I have with you. I love you.

Kidney Stones= Horrible! (16 weeks pregnant)

Most of the time, my plans don’t really go as planned. God is still teaching me. I am such a SLOW learner…



Thursday night, July 22nd, I went to bed just like any other night. It was anything but “just another night” though. I woke up at 2:00 in the morning with an awful pain in my right side. Unfortunately, I knew this pain all too well. It was a kidney stone. I knew without a doubt. I didn’t wake Eric up right away. I wasn’t sure the ER would be able to help me, like they have in the past. I knew I couldn’t have the hard-core pain medication I usually received when I had a kidney stone. They also couldn’t do an x-ray to see where the stone was. So, I laid there. Miserable. I was able to get a little more sleep before having to get up for work. Somehow I made it to work that next morning. I called my doctor as soon as they opened to get some advice. It was Friday, and the last thing I wanted was for something horrible to happen over the weekend and not be able to talk to the doctor’s office.



The nurse called me back and suggested I come in to see the doctor. I called Eric on the way and told him I was going. I told him not to worry and there wasn’t any reason for him to leave work. My mom met me at the doctor’s office. (I have the blessing of a mom who is a school teacher, so she was still on her summer break!) The doctor decided that she wanted me to go have an ultrasound to see if the stone was small enough for me to pass on my own. My doctor’s office closes early on Friday’s so I was sent to an imaging center across town for the ultrasound.



We waited for a little bit in the waiting room and were finally called back to the ultrasound room. I was in so much pain all I wanted was to get this over with. I laid down on my side so she could get a good look at my kidney. The nurse never found the kidney stone (which was a GREAT thing) this meant it was small enough to not show up, and I would be able to pass it on my own.



HOWEVER, we did find out something very important during this little extra visit to the doctor.



My next scheduled doctors appointment was to be the BIG ONE to find out if baby Jackson would be a boy or a girl. I had so many cute ideas about how we would tell our family. Eric and I had done such a great job with keeping our appointment date and time a secret from everyone. We wanted to share that special moment together first, then with our family. We didn’t get to do anything fun or memorable with our families when we found out we were pregnant, so we were ready to take this opportunity to have a little fun.



During this appointment to look at my kidney we found out that baby Jackson would be a baby BOY!!!  Eric wasn’t with me, but we did call and put him on speaker phone so he found out too. My mom was sitting in the room when we found out, so she got to share in our excitement! As disappointed as I was that our plans had fallen through, I was so excited, and Eric was beyond happy about having a son.



We decided that we would still have some fun with his parents. We got to Benton and Eric’s dad, step-mom, and little sister were the first on the list. I had gone to Walmart before we left and got two cookie cakes. On both of them I had “It’s a Boy!” written. We walked in the back door and set the cookie on the table. They were SO EXCITED to see the cookie. I will never forget the looks on their faces! After spending a little while with them, it was off to Eric’s mom’s house. She was the only one home when we got there, so it was very special to share that time with her. Eric is so close with his mom I really think it made her feel very special. I am thankful to have such wonderful in-laws. I really have been blessed with a wonderful second family!

13 Weeks and THE Announcement

Five short weeks after our first doctor’s appointment, it was time to go back! Okay, confession- it was five weeks but was not short or fast by any means. It seemed like our next appointment was months away. With the shots I was getting weekly, I was anxious to go back to the doctor just to make sure everything was okay with our little baby.


Our second appointment was June 29, 2010. We got another ultrasound done, and was amazed by how much our baby had grown! I had been keeping up with babycenter.com, so I knew about how big the baby should be, but it was so different seeing it for ourselves. It was an incredible difference from 8 weeks to 13 weeks!


Our doctor, Dr. Martin, was out on maternity leave so we got a chance to meet one of the other doctors during this visit. Eventually, we would have to meet all the doctors in the office, just in case Dr. Martin is unavailable when I go into labor. (Hopefully this won’t happen!)


Here are some pictures of this ultrasound.

Baby Jackson's heartbeat was 156!

Full body, side view of that precious face!

Cute little baby!

Here is my very first “belly picture”.

Because I had reached 13 weeks pregnant, and the doctor had decreased our chance of a miscarriage, Eric and I felt comfortable telling everyone about the pregnancy. Eric was NOT good at keeping this secret anyway, so instead of getting upset with him, I just decided to go ahead and join him! So, we did what would be the easiest way to tell our friends… Facebook! So, it was “Facebook official”!

Yay, for Baby Jackson on the way!

First Doctor's Appointment

Our first doctor’s visit was May 25, 2010. I was very nervous, and still thinking this whole thing might be a joke. Eric and I waited in the waiting room for what felt like an hour! Finally my name was called, and back we went.


After we answered about 1,000,000 questions about our medical history, it was finally the moment we were waiting for. Ultrasound time!! I was still very nervous, but took comfort in the fact Eric was so calm. He really helped me so much that day- I don’t thank him enough. He is amazing.


Here are some ultrasound pictures from that day.

Gosh. My first thought "that looks like a gummy bear!" Baby Jackson's heart beat was 184 that day.

My due date was set for January 2, 2011. I was offically 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant. According to babycenter.com Baby Jackson, in this picture, is the size of a kidney bean. I can't even describe the feeling I felt while we were looking at our little baby. Such an emotional time. I needed someone to remind me to take a breath! Ha! Thank you Lord, for this wonderful blessing.

Oh- funny fact. When the nurse saw that our due date was so close to New Year's Day, she made the comment that if we were to have the first baby of the year, we would have our picture in the paper, and possibly be on the news. She thought this was a wonderful thing! I on the other hand, didn't really agree. With my emotions all over the place anyway, this was not the time to tell me I could be in the newspaper hours after delivery. Ha! Bless her heart, I know she was trying to excite me, but it kinda terrified me instead.

Bound and Determined

I am on a mission to get this blog caught up to present day! So, this means lots of blogging to do in order to get there. I know it will totally be worth it in the end. I really want this to be something I can look back at one day and remember special times in my life. So much is happening…wow!
I just found my USB cord so I can finally add some pictures from the first few days after I found out I’m pregnant. I wish I had put these with the last couple of posts, but oh well. They are here now, so enjoy…

This was at work, right before I went to tell Eric he was going to be a daddy.

This is Liz. I would like to take a second and say a BIG THANK YOU to her. She was with me right after I took the test. When I was totally freaking out. If it weren't for her, I may have passed out. Ha!

Thank you Liz!

My reading material for the next 40 weeks (actually, probably way longer than that!)

My sister added to my reading collection. She packed up all her maternity books and passed them along to me. I really have had so many people to be so encouraging. I am a lucky girl!

Here Comes Baby (Part 2)

Things were happening so fast, I could barely keep up. As I mentioned in my last blog, Eric was already so excited about me being pregnant. However, if I got real honest with myself, I was pretty far from excited. I was very scared, felt very unprepared, and felt completely blindsided.

Here we were two months after getting married, and I have taken a pregnancy test that says I’m pregnant. I called and made a doctors appointment to have some blood drawn just to confirm the pregnancy. The next day I received a phone call with the news. I was in fact pregnant, 5-6 weeks to be exact. SO… it seems that Eric and I went a whole three weeks being married, and not pregnant!

In our pre-marital counseling we talked about having children one day. We talked about how Eric and I felt about how long we should wait, how many children we both wanted, and financially how we would support a family more than just the two of us. All of these questions we had talked about, and had answers for. We wanted to wait somewhere around two years, we wanted one (possibly two) children, and financially we both felt better about being married a couple of years to kind of figure out the whole marriage thing before adding a child into the mix. Eric and I had a plan. We were ready to stick to that plan. Well, God had a much better plan in store for us. Honestly, it took me way longer than it should have been to fully embrace God’s plan as my own. I had just started a new job, I didn’t have any sick time, no vacation time, and for sure no maternity leave! I wasn’t even eligible for health insurance yet!! I had so many excuses I’m really ashamed of my attitude looking back. God had blessed us so much. He had provided for us in every single way. I had NO REASON to doubt that this would be any different.

We made our first official doctors appointment for three weeks later. The doctor’s office told me they would like for me to be 8-9 weeks for our first appointment. The blood that that tested to make sure I was actually pregnant also showed a low progesterone level. Basically, they like for the number to be around 20, and mine was around 13. This meant I would need to receive a shot every single week of progesterone until I reached 12 weeks. Low progesterone levels made my risk for a miscarriage pretty high, so we decided not to tell very many people that I was expecting right away. We did tell close friends and of course our family.

I really wish I could say that I only felt scared and blindsided for just a week or so, but that really wasn’t the case. It took me a while to not cry every single time I thought about the fact all of this was happening. This was supposed to be a happy, wonderful time in a couple’s life- for me, it was anything but. With some wonderful words of encouragement from friends and family, and many, many hours of prayer, being silent, listening, and finally letting go and letting God do what He has always done for me, I had an overwhelming joy and peace about the entire situation. You see, God will never give me something that I can’t handle. He will always be there when I need Him. He has promised this to me over and over. I just wish I had taken this outlook from the very beginning. The cool thing though, is that in all of this, God taught me so much. He gave me this situation to go through so I could learn and grow in Him. How amazing! What a mighty God I serve! Amen.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then...

comes a BABY in a baby carriage!! Oh my!

Let me back up just a little... The Monday after we returned from our wonderful honeymoon, I started work at a brand new job! I now work for Community Service Inc. in Conway. We are a mental health facility for youth. I got a job as a Behavioral Specialist. Basically, I help youth (ages 14-18) who have been expelled from public school. All of them have felonies, and are on probation. We help them to get their GED's and also help them behaviorally. The afternoons are dedicated to groups on anger management, social skill, empathy, and character education. I am finally able to use my degree I worked so hard for in Psychology. My job is very rewarding- but also VERY challenging. I love it. I love the kids, and I love helping them to become productive members of society.

Okay, so we come back from our honeymoon, and I was off to work at a new job! Needless to say, I had lots of new things in my life! (a husband, living with a boy, new job, LOTS!)

A couple of months after we got married, I started not feeling really well one day at work. I ignored it at first, and kept pushing through (I also didn't have any sick time yet). A couple of days later, I decided I would call my doctor and see if I could get in on my lunch break. I explained my symptoms to the nurse, and the first thing she asked me was "are you pregnant?" um... NO! No way! I can't be pregnant. I started thinking and realized I should have started the week before. The nice nurse then told me to go buy a home pregnancy test and to call her back. UGH! I didn't want to go buy one! I was scared out of my mind.

So, off I went to Target. So many questions were running through my mind! "What kind do I buy? Should I get more than one? Should I call my husband?" I was freaking out! (that's probably an understatement) I ended up buying one that had three tests in the box. Sounded good to me. Plus, I think I had seen a commercial about this particular test.

I got back to work and decided I couldn't wait till that night to take the test. So, yes... I am one of "those girls" who took a work home pregnancy test at work! Three LONG minutes later, I got a second little line on the sick. Meaning I AM PREGNANT! I took the other two, just to make sure, and then it was off to tell my husband.

He was still at work, and I was a nervous wreck. I had no clue what he was going to say! We hadn't exactly planned this- in fact we had taken the precautions the doctor had told us would be effective. Apparently, I am in that 2% of the population that birth control doesn't work on.

I pulled up to the McGee Center and walked in to tell my husband he was going to be a daddy just TWO months after we got married. Ha! I'm getting nervous again just typing this out! Okay, so I ask him if we can go talk somewhere. We end up walking around for a while, and then finally going outside. We sit down and this is how the conversation went...
Me: "You know how I haven't been feeling real well lately?"
Eric: "Yeah, are you okay?"
Me: "Well, I called the doctor today and she told me to take a pregnancy test. I went to Target and got a test. I already took it while I was at work... and... well... it says I'm pregnant."

And that is when Eric laid down. Right there, on his back, just laid down.

Me: "I have the test in my pocket if you would like to see." He nodded.
after a few seconds that seemed like an hour, Eric finally responded.
Eric: "Well, I guess we are having a baby!"

And from that very moment on, Eric has been so excited!!! I needed a little more time to get to that excitement level, but Eric was excited from that day on. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful guy.